Between 2017 and 2019, I was trapped in a prolonged state of depression that lasted for two years. The upheavals in my family and marriage completely altered the trajectory of my life. I once believed that marriage was the culmination of love, but after personally experiencing everything, my perspective on marriage took a 360-degree turn. In China, marriage is rarely entirely free; it often adheres to the standards and approval of parents. There is a common saying in China: “When you marry her, you marry her entire family.” It wasn’t until now that I truly understood the profound meaning behind those words.
The continuous escalation of family conflicts caused significant harm to both me and my young daughter, leaving me in a prolonged state of anxiety and isolation from the outside world.
“Under Cloud”explores the process of self-healing from a perspective of emotional detachment from love. Through documenting interactions with the opposite sex, I attempt to navigate my own path toward understanding love. Using fragmented and ambiguous imagery, I depict the complex dynamics that arise in my interactions with women. Within a subtly painful atmosphere, I weave a dreamlike, theatrical narrative of restrained emotions—a delicate balance between scorching sunlight, starry skies, and fleeting reflections. These elements, wrapped in coldness and resilience, symbolize the transformation of my inner world from emotional detachment to spiritual fulfillment.